How to Fix that One Thing

How to Fix that One Thing

Is your doohickey on the fritz again? That old such-and-such ain’t hardly worth it no more. Well slap that sucker on up here and we’ll get you where you need to be. STEPS Crack open the sumbitch. Root around in that junk at make sure all its houses are in order. Is that gizmo...

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Question: How do I get rich?

From Mark, via e-mail Answer: A sound strategy of careful investment and savings is the best method for getting rich. Start with a small nest egg, say two or three thousand dollars, and carefully split that money between long term, high-return savings accounts and very carefully monitored stocks, using a mix of slow building...

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How to Win the NCAA Tournament

How to Win the NCAA Tournament

In the late 19th Century, a Canadian basket maker named Joe Namath invented a new sport called “basketball.” Originally, this sport mostly consisted of sending young boys into the street and forcing them to sell baskets to passersby through demonstrations involving trying to fit leather balls or their entire bodies inside. Over the years,...

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How to Become Immortal

How to Become Immortal

It’s a well-known fact that the only certainties in life are death and taxis. And while you can never escape taxis no matter how far you run, it’s actually quite easy to avoid dying.Here is how to keep not dying. STEPS Be born. This is pretty important, and a lot of people who want...

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How to Play an April Fool’s Prank

How to Play an April Fool’s Prank

April Fool’s Day pranks date back to the author Chaucer. In the late 14th Century, he wrote a bunch of tales, probably in April, and tricked everyone in the world into reading them for centuries. Even today, reading The Canterbury Tales is known in some circles as being “Geoff-rolled.” Today, April Fool’s Day is...

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How to Pick Your Nose

How to Pick Your Nose

They say you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but what if your friends were forced on you by an oppressive one world government, and also you don’t know how to pick your nose? For many people reading this article, these are real problems that need to be solved. This...

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