How to Fix that One Thing

Is your doohickey on the fritz again? That old such-and-such ain’t hardly worth it no more.

Well slap that sucker on up here and we’ll get you where you need to be.


  1. Crack open the sumbitch. Root around in that junk at make sure all its houses are in order.
  2. Is that gizmo over there fritzing with the doodad? Spritz some gunk on it.
  3. Some of these thingambobs have fussy whatzits. Get in there and give it some oomph.
  4. Is the widget looking a little something-something? Try fiddling with it.
  5. Strip out and replace the dojigger. Don’t skimp on the elbow grease.
  6. Tap the outer thingy with your widget a few times. See if it feels right.
  7. Close up the thingamajig and the apparatus should now be running like the berries.


  • You may need a left-handed screwdriver for this task. Why don’t you go look for one right now.
  • Oh, that one piece has always been loose. Don’t worry about it.
  • This guide will not help you fix that other thing, which is a task that should be performed only by a licensed and bonded whazizname.