Sometimes my wife needs a real good massage to unwind at the end of the day. Since my accident, I havenâ€™t been able to give her what she needs.
So weâ€™ve taken to finding strong men to massage my wife as deeply as she needs, for as long as she wants. Someone like you.
- Limber yourself up before you begin. You donâ€™t want to embarrass yourself by cramping up while un-cramping my wife!
- Haha, I like to tell jokes.
- If youâ€™re feeling tense, why not have some red wine?
- Itâ€™s a Pinot.
- OK, my wife is laid out for you. Be confident; she likes confident men.
- Donâ€™t be afraid. Weâ€™re all adults here.
- Why donâ€™t you take your shirt off?
- Iâ€™m just going to turn the lights down to set the mood.
- Begin at the shoulders. Tension tends to â€śbunch upâ€ť the shoulder muscles, and youâ€™ll see my wifeâ€™s can be like rocks at the end of a long day.
- Really get in there. Use the balls of your thumbs to dig deep. She may moan at this point; that means youâ€™re doing it right.
- If you need some oils, I have some on a silver tray right beside the bed.
- Yes, thatâ€™s the kind that heats up while you use it.
- Go down further. Work your thumbs into the shoulder blades, then down the spine.
- Itâ€™s OK; those slip off all the time. Donâ€™t worry about it.
- No, really, youâ€™re doing fine.
- Too fast! Take your time. A relaxed masseuse is a relaxed masseur.
- It means â€śman giving the massage.â€ť
- Deeperâ€¦ lowerâ€¦
- Let me just get comfortable. It can be so hard to get comfortable in a wheelchair.
- Do it.
- Do it!
- At some point my wife may start acting like she wants you to stop. Thatâ€™s just a funny little game we play. Keep going.
- Donâ€™t look at me! Look at her. If you must look at me, maintain unblinking eye contact.
- Just go with it.