How to Finish Your Basement

Unfinished basements are great big rooms that don’t get used much, what with being in the basement and unfinished.

However, if you finish your basement, you can double your living space and finally have room to install that pool table you’ve always wanted and will never use. Below are some steps for turning your basement from a basement into a nicer basement.


  1. Clean out the basement. You’re going to need a lot of room to work, and all that old junk isn’t doing you any good just taking up space down there. Clear out all those musty old tomes, bulky old unmarked crates, and those rows of creepy, unblinking dolls that stare and stare. Scrape those strange symbols off the walls, the ones that seem to warn away trespassers from disturbing them. Remember to sweep up thoroughly!
  2. Install the framework. You’re going to want to put in the subfloor, wall studs, and any sort of electrical wiring or plumbing you might want. Consult a plumber and an electrician, because they know about that kind of stuff. If they complain about the strange voices in the walls, shit, check a book out of the library. It’s not rocket science.
  3. Get it inspected. You will want an inspector for this. Make sure they also check whether the wiring and plumbing are up to code. When you are done with them, discarding the hacksaw in a nearby stream or river will eliminate most forensic evidence, and you can use the trip as an excuse to go fishing.
  4. You have always been in the basement. The basement has always been in you. We are all of the basement. The basement is of us all. He comes. hE cOmEs. Make sure you have all the tools you will need, including brushes and paint rollers.
  5. Install drywall. You’ll want plenty of eye and ear protection, as the sacrifices to Who Waits Behind will often spit as you wall them up, and they will always scream. Use sturdy drywall screws for the purpose; skimping on materials at the construction phase will only mean more maintenance and repair work for your new cultists later on.
  6. Sand, prime, and paint the drywall. Remember to mix only desanctified virgin blood into the primer, or you might have some explaining to do to the neighbors come Walpurgisnacht.
  7. Remember the personal touches. The right furniture, paired with framed art and a throw rug, could turn this into one of your favorite rooms in the home.


  • Consider acquiring a windowless van, as it is an excellent way to transport building materials and, er, other building materials.
  • To break the monotony, play some music while you work, but make sure it’s not distracting! Music in another language, like, say, maybe Latin, serves as great background musicĀ  you can hum or chant along to.
  • If it proves to be too big a job for DIY, don’t be too proud to hire a contractor. Remember to find one who is properly licensed, has good references, and loves his vulnerable, vulnerable family.